If I had a penny for every time a Mum asked me how they will know when to push – I would be rich - well perhaps a pound!
Sadly I think I would have as much money for every time someone tells me how they were terrified in to NOT pushing when they gave birth.
Terrified might sound like a strong word to someone who hasn't experienced this, but I think it's a reasonable description for lots of reasons.
If nothing else, who wants to be told you are doing something 'wrong' - especially if it implies you are doing something dangerous.
Couple this with a force that is so strong - it takes over part of you - it's as unnatural as being told not to breathe.
One of my Mums’s once likened the feeling to vomiting – that overwhelming reflex that you simply can’t stop. Your body takes over and you have no option but to release.
And then there are those of you who might not have had that urge at all or certainly lose the urge once you are given the okay.
Is it surprising?
Is it surprising that when you are being told to stop doing something that every part of you is fighting to do - you lose faith in your instinct?
You lose confidence that you know how to birth your baby.
No and what pisses me off most about this is that there's so many 'normal' non-risk associated reasons why this might be happening before reaching full dilation - like babies position.
So what is the reason for you (me included) to be told not to push in those moments?
One is the idea that pushing before you are fully dilated could damage your cervix or cause swelling. Despite lots of reading and asking - I have yet been able to find any real evidence to support this.
What my own experience tells me and hearing others' is that it almost always undermines a woman’s confidence in that moment and can a huge impact on the rest of labour and birth.
This is why it's such a hot topic in my classes.
Wanting to be told how to do something is totally normal and understandable.
However once you get a real understanding of how your body works in labour – it almost always makes sense to Mum’s why you don’t need to be coached to birth your baby.
So what can you do to work alongside that urge to push?
Have faith that your body knows what to do.
Hypnobirthing gives you the tools and information to nurture your instinct and confidence which helps keep that faith.
When you are deeply relaxed and undisturbed, the hormones of labour are working in unison to bring your baby earth – side.
Learning deep, focused breathing techniques to guide you through the various stages of labour triggers the relaxation response and helps to maintain calm confidence, but also to work with your body.
And finally whatever happens your baby is coming out one way or another and if left undisturbed – our bodies are absolutely designed to eject our babies as we have a natural ejection reflex.
If we didn’t – how could we explain women birthing in a coma?
No one is telling them when to push or certainly when NOT to push.
If you would like to know more about preparing for birth the Calm Birth School way get in touch for a chat - I'd love to support you.
The next group course starts this weekend...there's still a couple of places.